If you think this post is somewhat out of place, you’re right! Which is why it fits in this weblargh perfectly, if that makes any sense. So, without any further ado, a few reasons why it’s pretty obvious that driver’s education is completely absent in Oklahoma.
Hold on, a little more on the introduction. First, most of these observations are observed on highways, but similar qualities of them are seen on just about every road around here. Yes, these are stereotypes, and I don’t care. So here we go.
Speed Limit of DOOM: Apparently to most Oklahomans, the speed limit is an unapproachable barrier from which no man has ever returned alive upon crossing. Just to be safe, they’ll stay at least 5mph below it at all times to prevent eternal damnation. The problem is, most of them don’t read speed limit signs anyways, seeing as how when it changes, nobody seems to react to it.
BRAKES!!! Instead of easing on of brakes at a good distance behind traffic, the average Oklahoman’s philosophy is, “well, since I’m braking, might as well put that shit through the floor.” I can’t count the number of times I’ve had to follow suit as a number of cars in front of me decided to make their vehicles do handstands.
Merging Isn’t Rocket Science: But for some reason the intricate details of it seem to elude Oklahoma drivers. While most normal drivers will use an onramp to speed up to traffic (y’know, what it’s there for), the Oklahoman uses it for anything ranging from examining one’s teeth in the rearview mirror, to dialing someone on a cell phone. Meeting the faster moving traffic is dealt with by divebombing in headfirst at a breathtaking 40mph. This of course causes those on the highway already to use their BRAKES!!!
No-Reason Traffic: Ever suddenly hit traffic on the highway, think maybe there was a legitimate reason for it (accident, major construction, etc.) and then all of a sudden traffic opened back up as if nothing had happened? Probably because nothing had happened. If not, don’t worry, it’s rare in most places. But not here in Oklahoma! The combination of the last two problems makes no-reason traffic a commodity that is dealt with every day by anyone not originally from this place.
Common Courtesy: Unheard of among Oklahoma drivers. These “Unwritten Rules of the Road,” apparently need to be written, put in a book, and knocked across the skulls of some of these people. Quick rundown: no turn signals, no knowledge of 4-way stop procedures, refusal to yield the right lane to merging traffic, refusal to yield to faster traffic in the fast lane (keep in mind the speed limit issue, and then put one of them in the fast lane), using the entrance to exit gated communities, and a lot of blocking in of people needing to exit a parking lot. And those are just things I see every day, nevermind the weird ones.
HOLY SHIT, TURNS!!! Yes, Oklahoma, your roads have turns in them. The speed limit doesn’t change, so it’s a mystery to those of us who went through driver’s education as to why everybody slams BRAKES!!! when the highway lazily curves to the left or right. Gradual direction change is a good thing, there’s no need to panic.
And that’s really all I have to say on the subject for now. Until next post, I’ll be wading through the idiocy in my car. Won’t you join me?
…I wouldn’t either, no worries.
UPDATE!!! So my wife found out that in order to get a driver’s licence in Oklahoma, you have two choices: have a learner’s permit for one year, or take driver’s ed soon after you get one. So basically driver’s ed is optional. That explains a lot.
